What a time of it I have been having lately. I have had a lot of lent dreams, but they are so subtle that I only remember them days after having them and get very confused. I had one a few days back where I broke lent a few hours before it ended. I have also had a mirage of dreams about eating stuff I shouldn't. So confusing.
Well, as you have noticed, I haven't been posting any shopping pictures lately. The reason is that I have been doing little bits of food shopping here and there so haven't really got one big picture to put up.
I got 'properly weighed' and tested last Wednesday and had quite a shock. In a good way. I'll be posting all the gory details next Sunday which, of course, is Easter Sunday. It's a bit shocking.
As far as temptation goes, I really wanted a beer yesterday (same as the saturday before) and had another barrage of thoughts about eating a dirty burger. Grumpf!
Which leads me onto the next bit.
I am really worried about trying to keep my healthy eating from Lent on after Lent ends. Each years after it is over, I just eat what I want, and Keep Lent as Lent. However, this year I genuinely want to keep eating good normal healthy food. But there is a problem.
Since Wednesday I have found myself to be contemplating the end of Lent a lot. It's as if my body knows the mandatory 40 days and 40 nights have been fulfilled and what am I still doing on this ludicrous fast! I am starving myself a lot more almost in an attempt to make bad food seem like the only option again, if that makes any sense.
I'm not starving myself on purpose, it's just I seem to be able to go for a very long time without eating because nothing is grabbing my appetite. Even when I do cook food for myself and eat it, it seems tasteless and I get nothing out of it.
Now, I know his isn't exactly the best thing that I could be doing, but the thing is I'm not consciously doing it, It's just happening.
Yesterday I cooked potatoes, salmon and mushrooms and I enjoyed it abut as much as a plate full of treacle (and I hate treacle). The only way I can describe it is like if you have a 9-5 job and you have been working 4 months straight and you have a 2 week holiday coming up. The last few days of the last week you have to work before your holiday, you aren't exactly 'at work' any more and instead, your preempting your wonderful holiday and 14 days of non work activities.
It's a little like that. I think in all honesty, all I want is a cup of good coffee and be able to use butter in my diet to get rid of the craving, I am just scared I might go mental and devour every fast food place within a five mile radius.
Well, we will see. I do need to go buy some food as I have little left in the fridge and my fruit rack is a joke (I just ate a banana out of it there now, of which 90% was black goo - I only ate the 10% that wasn't by the way). So maybe I can entice my mind back into enjoying good food and pretend next Sunday isn't happening so I can continue what this Lent has started for me.
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